Lights! Camera! Action! Ninja?
by daydreamlife
Summary: A few days after the final battle with the Overlord, a man named Ethan Russell approaches the rebuilt Destiny's Bounty, stationed at the edge of Ninjago City. He has something to offer the ninja: an autobiography-type TV show about their adventures. Because that'll definitely end well. Formerly titled 'Bloopers of the ninja'.
1. Introductions

It had been a few days since Ninjago had been saved from the Overlord. Everything was calm, but not quiet. Everyone was buzzing about everything that had happened. Everyone wanted to know.

So, a man named Ethan Russell approached the Destiny's Bounty at the edge of town. He hesitantly rang the doorbell.

A scuffling could be heard, voices shouting "Hey!", "It's my turn to get the door!", "Lemme get it!", and "Is it the mailman? Tell me if it's the mailman!".

Ethan fidgeted for a while, waiting for someone to answer the door. Maybe this wasn't a good time. He was about to turn and leave, but then the door opened.

In the doorway stood a calm blond teenage boy about three years younger than Ethan and wearing a purple flowery apron. "Hello," he said pleasantly.

Behind him was a scuffle of boys fighting and tumbling over each other. They were still yelling.

Ethan raised his eyebrows. "Um, is this a bad time?"

"No, they get like that when the doorbell rings," the teen said calmly. "Or the phone. It's a contest. Here, come in."

The teen stepped back into the Destiny's Bounty. Seeing that Ethan wasn't following, he made a 'follow me' motion.

Ethan cautiously stepped in. Looking all around, his eyes were wide.

He was in the ninjas' ship. He was in the bricking Destiny's Bounty. Wow.

He edged past the dog pile of boys, who either hadn't noticed that the door had been answered or were having too much fun to stop.

Ethan trailed the blond as he turned left, went up a flight of stairs, went down a hall, and took another left. They came to an ornate door, engraved with vines.

The aproned teen knocked respectfully. "Sensei? There is a man here to see you."

"I never told you I wanted to see him," Ethan said, confused.

The blond smiled and stepped back as the door creaked open.

"Come in, come in!" An old man's voice called. Ethan stepped into the room.

An elderly man, the ninja's sensei, sat on the floor, eyes twinkling. "What is your name?"

"Uh, Ethan Russell. Sir," he added.

The old man smiled. "Call me Sensei Wu. That's my name, after all. What are you here for, Mr Russell? Or would you prefer Ethan?"

"Ethan's good. Well, in the villages lots of people were wondering what happened with the ninja and stuff. I'm a special effects producer and assistant director at the country-wide NINJ TV studio. I thought, hey! You could make a TV show or something, show everyone what happened," Ethan blurted. "I told my superiors, they agreed and said that if you guys I agreed I could produce and direct it, which has always been a dream of mine, so I wanted to try and- And so here I am."

Sensei Wu raised an eyebrow thoughtfully.

Ethan misinterpreted it. "But, now that I'm here, I know it's a stupid idea, and I shouldn't have thought of it in the first place, and I'll be going now."

"No, no. It's good idea, young Ethan," the Sensei said brightly, standing. "In fact, why don't you stay with us for dinner and discuss this with the ninja?"

Ethan gulped slightly.

Not half an hour later, Ethan was sitting awkwardly at the table, surrounded by people he didn't personally know but knew of.

There was the old man, Sensei Wu, at his left. To his right sat a young dirty-blond boy dressed in a way-too-large green ninja suit. Ethan would think that the kid was the rumored Green Ninja, but he was way too young, about eight.

Squeezed in on the boy's right was a pair of gray-haired men, one with long hair and the other with whiter slicked-back hair. They and the middle-aged woman next to them were listening to the brunet teen dressed in a blue ninja suit next to the woman. Blue-suit talking animatedly to the black ninja across from him with, ironically, blackish hair. Next to Black-suit was a red-suited teen with spiky darker brown hair, often chiming in.

Sitting by Spiky-hair was the second girl Ethan had seen so far. She had short, smooth black hair and wore a pretty red kimono. She seemed to pay the most attention to Blue-boy and Spiky-hair. Ethan would guess kimono was dating one of them.

But where was the aproned boy he had met earlier? And where were the samurai, the white ninja, and the legendary Green Ninja?

Ethan's internal musings were interrupted by the opening of the sliding doors at the end of the room. A delicious smell wafted through the room and Apron appeared in the doorway.

"Dinner is served!" Apron announced cheerfully, placing many dishes on the table. His announcement was greeted by cheers and moans of "Oh, yum!"

"This looks great!" Black-suit exclaimed, surveying the table. Apron smiled and slid in next to Kimono.

Ethan's eyes were wide. There were puddings and rolls of bread, jellies and a dish of candies, and in the center a huge bowl of pasta and butter sauce. He whistled under his breath, impressed.

"It smells great too!" Spiky-hair said eagerly, reaching for a roll. Kimono smacked his arm gently and he dropped it on his plate.

"Don't eat yet, no one's served. Besides, we have a guest," she lectured.

"Indeed we do," Sensei Wu said merrily. "Why don't you introduce yourself and tell us why you're here?"

Ethan smiled nervously. "I'm Ethan Russell, and I'm here because everyone in Ninjago wants to know what happened between you guys and that weird evil guy."

Snorts of laughter from Blue-suit, Black-suit, and Spiky-hair. Little-green giggled as the man with longer gray hair frowned playfully and made a face

Ethan had no idea what was so funny, and resolutely continued. "I work at a TV studio, Ninjago News. We want to make a TV show out of your adventures."

"Awesome," Blue-suit said excitedly. "We'd be TV stars!"

"That'd be fun," Kimono said thoughtfully. "Anybody else think it sounds cool?"

Spiky-hair and Little-green nodded and smiled eagerly, Black-suit and Apron nodding a little more conservatively.

"It'd be an interesting experience," the middle-aged woman mused happily.

The two men next to her agreed with nods and a "Definitely."

Sensei Wu nodded. "It's decided. You can tell your TV studio the good news tomorrow, Ethan."

"Tomorrow?" He ventured uncertainly.

"Of course. If you're going to make a television show about our lives, you should know us and at least the basics of our stories," the older man explained.

"I get that, but what about tommorow?" Ethan questioned.

"Won't you stay the night?"

He only had to think about that for a second, marveling at how only an hour ago he had never even met the fameous ninja and now he was being offered to stay with them and direct an autobiography TV show about them. "Oh yeah."

~AUTHOR'S NOTE~

Thank you for reading this, as it's my first published fanfiction and I'm pretty nervous about the reception. Please review!

~Daye


	2. Annnd Action?

It was the first day of filming and Ethan was nervous as all get out. It had taken only three days after he first went to the Destiny's Bounty to get everything set up.

Contracts were signed, equipment was brought to the site of the first filming (4 Weapons, the blacksmith shop), and a crew consisting of five camera people (he thought they were named along the lines of Josh, Lexi, Paul, Nolan, and something that began with an R, maybe Ryan, but he wasn't quite sure) and a pair of costumers/make-up artists (those names he remembered, twins called Megan and Max).

The script, consisting of four fifteen minute chunks that would be aired seperately over two weeks then all together as a movie, had been written and edited by everyone who had been a part of the events.

Everything was set up. Everything was ready to go. So why was Ethan so nervous?

He knew why. It was because no matter which way you sliced it, the ninja and their friends weren't actors or actresses. They were just people without any acting experience, and even though he admired them and trusted them to protect Ninjago... They weren't the sanest or most normal people to work with.

Take some of what happened the night he met the ninja as an example:

After Jay, Kai, Cole, and Misako had introduced themselves, Ethan turned to thee young boy dressed up as the Green Ninja. "So who are you, kiddo?"

"Lloyd Garmadon, the Green Ninja, the Gold Ninja, and the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master," he announced proudly.

Ethan had to laugh. "That's cute. Now, really?"

Lloyd puffed up his cheeks and then-

"Holy crap!" The young director yelped, falling back off his chair. "What the-"

The older teen sitting where Lloyd had sat looked very proud of himself, exchanging high-fives with just about everyone around the table.

"Lloyd!" Sensei Wu scolded. Or rather, it woud have been scolding if he hadn't been laughing as hard as everybody else.

"That was priceless!" Jay cheered.

"Nice going," the old man with long grey hair said with an approving smirk.

Ethan took a few shuddering breaths and climbed back into his chair. "What, what just happened? Where did Lloyd go?"

"I am Lloyd. Do you know that old tea shop lady, Mistyk or Mystake or whatever? She sells really weird stuff. Anyway, she gave Sensei Wu, he's my uncle, a kind of tea dust that makes you older. Uncle needed it because Kai, Jay, Zane, and Cole were kids at that point because of Dad's Megaweapon. So Uncle tossed the tea dust at the other ninja and the Grundle and me because I was with them at that point. They turned back to normal, the Grundle went back to being a skeleton, and I got to look like this. A day after the battle with the Overlord, I figured out that I could kind of shapeshift back and forth between the two ages. It's pretty cool." With that, he shifted back and forth, back and forth, until Nya reached across the table and flicked him on the nose. He stopped in his older form, a cheeky grin on his face.

Ethan blinked a couple times, trying to absorb all that information. Most of it he got but some of it was just too weird to understand. "Two questions. Who is your dad? And what's a mega weapon?"

"Lloyd's my son," the longer-haired man supplied.

"And who are you? I don't think I've ever seen you before."

"You probably have, but you wouldn't recognize me. I normally have a lot darker skin, black spiky hair, and red eyes," he said helpfully.

That took a moment to bounce around in his head. "Wait a minute. Lloyd said his last name was..." Ethan's throat clenched up.

Garmadon nodded, smirking. "Took you long enough."

"Wha, who, how," Ethan stuttered, looking wildly at the other faces around the table. "Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"No. I was bitten by the Great Devourer when I was a boy. I assume you know what the Great Devourer is?" Garmadon asked sarcastically.

Ethan could only nod mutely.

"So he had to be evil, he had no choice. The Devourer made sure of that," Wu said grimly.

"But during the battle with the Overlord, Lloyd became the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master and sent out that blast of light, erasing all the evil that the Overlord did. Somehow, that must have worked on the Great Devourer's poison in Garmadon's blood because he came back the way he looks now," Jay addded.

"Of course, I apologized many times. Luckily for me, they accepted my 'Sorry's and pretty much adopted me into the fold," Garmadon explained.

"Ooooookay then." Ethan made a mental note not to be anywhere alone with the 'former' evil mastermind and turned to the old man with shorter hair. "How about you? Were you Garmadon's evil henchman, intent on destroying many lives?"

The man sighed heavily. "I'm Doctor Julien and in a way, yes."

"Father!" Apron-boy protested. "That is not true! You were threatened into helping. You had as little choice as Garmadon."

"And who are you?" Ethan asked, turning to the blond teen.

"Zane, White ninja of Ice," Apron-boy said calmly.

"Oh," Ethan stammered, admitting "I kind of thought you were just the cook or something. Wait, if you're the ice ninja then are you..."

"Am I what?" Zane repeated.

"Are you, are you a..." Ethan just couldn't get the words out.

Luckily, Kai got what the slightly older man was trying to say. "Yeah, Zane's a nindroid."

"Can I see?" Ethan blurted out.

Zane nodded, rolling up his left sleeve and opening his arm panel.

"Wow. May I?" He reached out tentatively across the table.

Zane leaned forward and stuck out his arm. Ethan gently traced the various wires and switches before withdrawing his hand with a reverent "Cool."

Those strange encounters had set the tone for the rest of Ethan's time there as they prepared for shooting. The most important part of that strange process was the script, which Ethan had told the four original ninja to work on.

They apparently took their job seriously, as they locked themselves in their room with some snacks, a big stack of paper, and some pencils. Four hours, two bags of puff-corn, three bags of chips, a pepperoni pizza, a gallon or five of pop, and numerous arguments and headaches later, they emerged triumphantly with a pretty decent rough draft.

The draft was edited into a final copy by Nya, the ninja, Garmadon, and Sensei Wu. It was then looked over by Ethan and approved by the network supervisor. The final script was copied off many times: one for Sensei Wu, one for Nya, one for Cole, one for Jay, one for Zane, one for Kai, one for Lloyd (who was playing a CGI voice-altered Samukai, which he found hilarious), one for each of the skeletons (who had been roped in to play themselves and would be paid in donuts and shiny stones), one for Garmadon, another for Kai when he lost his, and one each for the five camera people and Ethan.

Once the script was written, the set readied, and the crew was gathered, they were ready.

Ethan sighed. This probably wasn't going to be easy. Normal TV shows weren't easy to make, and this show had a very strange yet true plot, real non-green screen sets, and slightly insane actors playing themselves. Oh well. Things were in motion and couldn't be stopped now.

Ethan settled himself in a chair marked 'Director Russell' and cued the first camera. "Annnd... Action!"

~AUTHOR'S NOTE~

In my headcanon, Lloyd figured out that he was able to turn into a kid (kind of shape-shift back and forth) after the battle with the Overlord. Because little Lloyd is adorable. That is all.

Oh, and even though the Megaweapon technically never happened because of the episode 'Wrong place, wrong time, it makes the most sense for it to have disappeared in the time that the ninja came back to rather than the time that they destroyed it in, if that makes any sense. It's an unsolvable time paradox, so I'm just saying that everyone remembers the Megaweapon.

Until next time! Please review!


	3. Way of the cray ninja, Golden Toothbrush

WAY OF THE NINJA

oOoOoOo

Kai leaned over the hot sword he was making. He struck it again and again with a hammer, grunting. Then-

"Yow!" Kai yelped, shaking his hand furiously. "I hit myself with the hammer!"

oOoOoOo

TAKE 1

"Ninja?" Kai asked, eyebrows raised. "You're a long way from finding a ninja in these parts, old man. Besides,"

Off set, a burst of laughter.

"Dang it, Jay! That was a perfectly good take!" Kai complained.

"Sorry," the blue ninja apologized, "but it's too funny!"

"Red card, Jay!" Ethan called out, making a note.

TAKE 2

"Ninja?" Kai repeated, eyebrows raised. "You're a long way from finding a ninja,"

Jay once again fell apart laughing.

Kai groaned. "Jay-ay!"

TAKE 3

"Ninja?" Kai started.

Jay started laughing, but was muffled.

"Mmph! Mm-mmm-hm!" He whined.

Cole, who had his hand over the lightning ninja's mouth, and Zane, who held Jay's hands down so he couldn't remove Cole's hand, steered the blue boy out of the old blacksmith shop.

Kai sighed in relief.

oOoOoOo

"Lord Garmadon says take the girl," Lloyd-as-Samukai ordered.

The skeletons released a giant hand on a chain, which flew towards Nya-

And missed awfully, capturing her skeleton opponent.

Kai snorted. "Nice going, boneheads."

Lloyd-as-Samukai pouted.

Ethan face-palmed. This was going to be a very long day, week, and job.

oOoOoOo

"Wait, you're the younger brother? So you came here looking for the map?" Kai asked.

"No, I came for something greater. You," Sensei said, motioning with his bo/cane towards Kai.

Or at least he tried to.

Kai ended up with a bo staff to the face.

Sensei chuckled. "Woops," he offered feebly.

oOoOoOo

Kai grunted as he slowly climbed the mountain.

Sensei Wu crawled along like a spider and flipped to the top with ease long before Kai did.

"I still don't get how you do that," Kai complained under his breath.

oOoOoOo

"To become a true ninja, first you must be able to see what others cannot," Sensei lectured.

"See what? There's nothing here," Kai scoffed.

"To become a true ninja, first you must learn to see what others do not," Wu lectured.

But before the Sensei could activate the fake monastery's training course, Kai added "Oh, you mean Cole and Zane and Jay and Lloyd still dressed as as Samukai and Ethan Russell and the TV crew hiding out of camera range?"

"Exactly," Wu chuckled as Ethan grumbled about red cards and fines under his breath.

oOoOoOo

Trying to get more time to complete the training course, Kai threw his sword towards Sensei Wu's tea.

The sword soared through the air and landed point down right where Wu's hand had been a minute ago, quivering ominously.

Kai jumped off the training course and groaned.

oOoOoOo

Kai was brushing his teeth in his pajamas, getting ready for bed. He stopped and started waving the toothbrush around like a sword. "Oh yeah? Well, take this!"

Unknown to Kai, a black suited ninja crawled into the room, holding nunchucks and hiding in the corner.

"Uh! And this!" Kai cried, striking out with the 'sword' dangerously close to where the ninja was hiding. Another ninja in black, this one holding shurikens, dropped from the ceiling into a different corner and took a ready stance.

"Uh! Ah! Ooh!" Kai grunted, spinning around as a third ninja, dressed just like the others and holding a scythe, entered the room. "Annnd this!"

Kai was supposed to come to a stop right in front of Cole. Instead, he accidentally smacked the Earth ninja in the face with his toothbrush.

Cole gave a rather out-of-character yelp and stumbled backwards. The other three cringed: Zane and Jay because they remembered what it was like being hit in the face with Kai's toothbrush, Kai because now he was going to have to do the scene over again.

oOoOoOo

THE GOLDEN WEAPONS

oOoOoOo

TAKE 1

Thinking quickly, Kai stuck the toothbrush in the shuriken-ninja's mouth. Zane spit it out quickly, bouncing it off of Jay's face. The toothbrush arched through the air towards Cole...

And landed on the floor.

TAKE 2

Kai shoved his toothbrush into Zane's mouth again. Zane spit it out and it went flying, clipping Jay across the side of the head as it went.

"Not quite, but close," Cole admired.

TAKE 5

Kai stuck his toothbrush into Zane's mouth, who spit it out and it hit Jay right in the eye.

Jay covered his eye and whimpered in pain. "Now you guys are just messing up to see me get hit in the face!"

"Jay, if I was I'd be purposely getting Kai's toothbrush stuck repeatedly into my mouth," Zane pointed out.

TAKE 12

Thinking quickly, Kai stuck the toothbrush in the shuriken-ninja's mouth. Zane spit it out quickly, bouncing it off of Jay's face. The toothbrush arched through the air towards Cole...

And went down the back of his shirt perfectly.

Out of the camera range, the other three high-fived.

oOoOoOo

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jay protested. "You never said anything about a fourth! It's always three! Three blabbering mikes, three musky tears, three,"

"Blabbering mikes?" Kai asked incredulously.

"Musky tears?" Cole repeated.

"I do not believe that that was part of the script," Zane remarked.

Jay groaned. "Oh, shut up."

oOoOoOo

Pulling Wu's modified horse carriage, Kai asked "So, where did Sensei find you guys?"

"Let's just say, if it weren't for Sensei, none of us would have been seen together," Cole panted. Then he tripped on a rock and fell over, making the other three dig in their heels so they wouldn't run him over.

"Smooth, Cole," Kai said sarcastically. "Real smooth."

oOoOoOo

Jay interrupted Sensei Wu. "Yeah, yeah, yeah - it's too much for us mortals. All right guys, let's chop socky this lemonade stand. Cole, you got the plan?"

"Sure do. First, we lower ourselves down the ledge. And then - where's Kai...?" Cole looked around to see Kai still at his side. "Kai? You were supposed to go?"

Kai blinked. "Oh. Right. Whoops."

oOoOoOo

Cole, Zane, and Jay crawled onto the top of Samukai-Lloyd's tower to join Kai.

Jay smacked the red ninja upside the head and whispered harshly "Hey! What's the matter with you?"

Kai shushed him.

Below them in the tower, Samukai-Lloyd was studying the map, pretending not to have heard everything that his fellow ninja were saying.

"He's holding it upside down!" Jay said frantically.

Samukai-Lloyd looked up, smiling brightly. "Thanks! I didn't notice that!" He flipped the map over and gave a fake little 'aha'.

Cole and Zane smiled at Lloyd's antics. Jay and Kai laughed out loud.

"Why don't you ninja join me for a snack? I've got donuts," Samukai-Lloyd offered. "I can tell you how life's going for us baddies and you can fill me in on you heroic plans."

"Sounds like fun," Kai said, playing along and dropping into the tower. The other three joined him as Lloyd pulled out a box of donuts.

Ethan sighed. "Cut! Take five, crew. This'll take a while."

Lloyd called down to the director. "Hey! Want a donut? Get up here!"

Ever so slightly, he smiled. "Yeah, I'll have a donut."

oOoOoOo

"Okay, boys, you know what you're gonna do?" Cole coached.

Rocky snorted, nudging the heads around him into nods of agreement.

Cole smiled and walked away from the four-headed dragon to Ethan, who was bent over a computer monitor with Jay. "How is this going to work? Rocky doesn't exactly look the way he did back then."

"The same way we have Lloyd playing Samukai: lots of computer editing," the director explained. "It'll look like 'Rocky' is... His old self again.

"It's really cool," Jay added. "I can turn a tape of me fighting the training course dummies into footage of me owning a bunch of Serpentine."

Cole peered at the computer. All he saw was a bunch of mostly meaningless buttons surrounding what looked like footage from one of their battles. "If you say so."

oOoOoOo

Lloyd, still in his Samukai costume, pretended to cower before his off-screen father in a simulated Underworld throne room. "Master, I have failed you. They have learned Spinjitzu and have the Scythe."

"Good" came Garmadon's deep rumble from out of camera range.

Lloyd-Samukai looked up in confusion as the former Dark Lord continued "Then my brother was there."

Eager to please, Lloyd-Samukai began "If we gather my army, we could ambush them at the-"

"No."

Just that simple, silky word was enough to make Lloyd-Samukai quiver in fear.

"Let them think they're winning," the voice continued.

"Master, I do not-"

"Don't worry," Garmadon soothed, still off the screen. "Everything is going according to plan."

He began laughing slowly, evilly, as the camera panned out to show the entire throne room. It was empty of any being except Lloyd-Samukai, who was still quivering with pretend fear.

The shivering changed as the camera pulled away, turning to shakes of suppressed laughter, then giggles, then just laughing at strangeness of the situation.

Ethan sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. They could blank out the early laughter and freeze-frame it before Lloyd fell over with laughter. "Okay, people. That's a wrap, or at least as close we're ever going to get."

oOoOoOo

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry this took so long. I had a boatload of technology issues and got a random plot bunny that refused to leave me alone until I wrote it. So that'll be up soon. Hope you liked it! Please review!


	4. King of Mistakes, Weapons of Forgetting

KING OF SHADOWS

oOoOoOo

"No, Kai!" Sensei Wu scolded. "If done incorrectly, it could lead to disastrous consequences."

Kai laughed and kept trying to produce the Tornado of Creation. "Disastrous consequence, huh? Right."

Cole tensed up at the wheel, waiting for the ship to jerk to the side. It did so rather violently, and he was thrown off into the freezing water. "Hey!"

Jay, Kai, Zane, and Sensei Wu peered at him from the ship's deck. Jay called down "Are you okay?"

Cole shivered violently, treading water and called out sarcastically "Of course I'm okay! Who could possibly get hurt being thrown from a ship, narrowly avoiding smashing their head on drifting ice chunks, and splashing into below-freezing water?"

"Glad you're okay," Kai yelled back just as sarcastically.

oOoOoOo

"Are you ready, Shard?" Zane murmured.

The dragon head sticking out from the ice nodded, a rather creepy effect.

"And, marker!" Ethan yelled.

Balancing on his friends' shoulders, Zane reached for the shurikens. Shard blew a freezing breath and the white ninja was instantly encompassed in a block of ice.

"Now the cave in," Ethan directed.

Exactly on cue, ice stalactites dropped dangerously close to the three ninja still upright. They ran for the exit, carrying Zane above their heads.

The dragon chased them, all four heads roaring gleefully, really getting into the role (although once the video had been edited, only Shard would be there).

Jay, Kai, and Cole continued to run. Wisp ran into them and the momentum sent them tumbling through the air. The four landed the way they were supposed to. The unfrozen three were on top of poor Zane as if he was a bobsled, steering down the steep icy hill. They crashed at the bottom mid-way up a glacier, the ice around Zane cracking as he hit it head first. He had only enough time to give a tiny groan before they fell and the other three landed on him.

Ethan grinned in enthusiasm. "I can't believe we got that in one perfect tape!"

One of the camera people (Lily, maybe?) raised her hand timidly. "Uhhh..."

Ethan groaned. He should have it wouldn't work out. "Yes, Lily? What's the problem?"

"My name's Lexi, Mr Russell. And my camera's lens cap was on."

"Mine too," another camera person yelled.

"Was everybody's lens cap on?" Ethan asked in exasperation.

"Mine!" "Mine!" "My camera was just turned off."

Ethan slapped his forehead.

oOoOoOo

Flying away from where the Nunchucks of Lightning had been hidden, Jay, Zane, Kai, and Cole glided into the Forest of Tranquility where Sensei Wu was waiting for them.

Jay made it in all right. That was all.

Kai crashed at the base of a tree, Zane tried to swerve and avoid Kai but ran into him, and Cole crashed into an entirely different tree and got stuck up there.

Jay just sat down and laughed.

oOoOoOo

"I guess I could," Wu allowed, getting ready to dance. "Now this next move is very spesh- sepsh- Septic?"

Kai stared at him. "Septic? How do you get 'septic' mixed up with 'special'?"

"I don't even know," Sensei admitted sheepishly.

oOoOoOo

"You can't hurt me here! You're banished! Trapped in the Underworld!" Kai shouted defiantly, stepping back carefully so he wouldn't fall into the lava (although it was actually covered with clear hardened fire retardant so nobody got hurt).

"And that is why you are going to retrieve the Sword of Fire for me," Garmadon purred.

"I don't think so!"

"Are you sure about that? How else are you going to rescue your precious little sister?" Garmadon gestured to the back of the cave. Later, it would be edited so his 'shade' would grow and move away at that point.

Right on time, the chain with Nya tied into it swung down. But apparently the length hadn't been tested. Only Nya's lower legs were visible, kicking uselessly.

"Okay, this take failed," she announced cheerfully before quickly releasing herself and dropping. She walked casually across the fire retardant/lava and out of the cave, calling back "Tell me when everything's set up to start again!"

oOoOoOo

Kai ran for the sword and grabbed it, flipping over it to pull it out. Only it didn't come out. "Huh.

He kept tugging at it. "It's stuck, guys!"

Sensei Wu walked on set and easily pulled the sword out, handing it to Kai. "So fail."

oOoOoOo

"There's no way out," Kai breathed, looking at the fire dragon."He's taken away all our options."

"All but one," Sensei Wu said solemnly. Suddenly, he jumped back and while Kai exclaimed "Sensei! What are you doing!?" the old man struck the ground with the Sword of Fire and separated a large chunk of hardened lava from the rest.

"No, you fool!" Garmadon yelled.

"If he is to bring the other weapons here, then I will take the Sword of Fire to the Underworld," Wu declared, settling himself on the rock. Slowly, it (with him aboard) floated on the lava flow towards the back of the cave. "It is my sacrifice to bear."

"No. It's mine. I shouldn't have come on my own. You don't have to do this! There's got to be an anoth- a anoth- an anther way!" Kai tried.

Sensei Wu paused in the middle of taking out his tea pot and looked up at the fire ninja. "An anther way?"

"Why is that line so hard to say?" Kai made a face.

Nya laughed. "Anther? Is that even a word?"

"How would I know?" Kai shrugged.

oOoOoOo

Back at the campsite, the skeletons were rallied around the three struggling ninja. Lloyd-Samukai grinned mischievously. He was enjoying this. "To the Fire Temple!" He hollered.

The skeletons cheered as Jay, Zane, and Cole continued to struggle.

Garmadon's shade appeared on a tire. "My brother has taken the Sword of Fire to the Underworld. Quickly! Return hone and unite the weapons before it's too late!" The shade vanished.

"Uh, change of plans," Lloyd-Samukai announced. "To the Underwear!"

There was silence as everyone realized what Lloyd had said. Then they burst out laughing.

"Shut up," Lloyd moaned.

oOoOoOo

WEAPONS OF DESTINY

"We might not be able to cross over," came Kai's voice from inside the Fire Temple.

Cole, Jay, and Zane stepped back and stared in awe as the temple cracked in two down the middle and split apart. Out of the dust emerged a large shape which came closer and was revealed to be Kai and Nya on a...

"But a dragon can!" Kai finished triumphantly. Flame gave a rough, loud roar. The other three heads just lay down, bored.

Jay and Zane looked sideways at Cole, who rolled his eyes and gave a pitiful, half-hearted yelp without moving. Kai couldn't even hear it and just kept staring expectantly at the black-suited teen.

"Cut!" Ethan called. "Let's try that again, and Cole? This time, make me feel your fright."

"Oh, you'll feel something from me, Russell," Cole muttered as he got back into position, clenching a fist.

"I heard that!"

Cole shrugged unabashedly.

oOoOoOo

TAKE 1

Surrounded by skeletons on the ground and giant spiders in the air, Kai asked "Any ideas? I'm still all ears!" He struck out at a skeleton, which retreated a bit and danced just out of reach.

"rnodfboscrain," Jay rasped.

"Huh?" Kai frowned behind his mask.

"You ate an strange crustacean?" Cole guessed.

"That was my line," Zane pointed out.

TAKE 2

"gbirfihevio," Jay muttered.

"You feel an odd sensation?" Cole guessed.

"You ate a strange crustacean?" Zane suggested.

"toaonofretvo," Jay mumbled emphatically, gesturing.

Kai brightened. "I got it, I got it!"

The other three ninja and skeletons waited for him to finish. The spiders kept slowly advancing.

Kai slumped. "Actually, I don't got it. Line, please!"

TAKE 3

Kai was about to guess "Two natives, on vacation!"

But the spiders reached them before he could get past "Two" and then they were too busy fighting off giant arachnids to finish their lines.

"Red card, spiders?" Nya suggested from off set.

oOoOoOo

Finally, the Tornado of Creation spun down into four regular Spinjitzu tornados which then slowed to reveal the four ninja. They looked up at their work.

The giant spiders and various assorted pieces of the Underworld had formed a giant purple working Ferris Wheel. The skeletons were imprisoned in twos and threes in the carriages of the Wheel.

A camera zoomed in on Kruncha and Nuckal at the top of the Wheel. Nothing happened.

"Nuckal! Where's your cotton candy?" Ethan called impatiently.

"Kruncha's fault! He- No, there was a dragon and it- No, it sprouted legs and ran off-" Nuckal tried.

Ethan sighed. "You ate it, didn't you?"

"He ate it," Kruncha confirmed.

oOoOoOo

The four dragon-suited ninja jumped into the black pit. They arrived at the Underworld throne room and gasped.

Lloyd-Samukai and Sensei Wu were fighting for the Golden Weapons. Lloyd lashed out with the nunchucks, Wu danced out of reach. Lloyd swiveled and struck with the scythe, Sensei partied the blow.

Wu sliced the Sword of Fire towards Lloyd-Samukai's neck, intending to miss him narrowly. Instead, it nicked the costume's jaw and sent Lloyd reeling backwards.

Sensei cringed.

oOoOoOo

Lloyd-Samukai grinned menacingly at Sensei Wu, toeing to dropped Sword of Fire.

"Good," Garmadon purred. "Now bring the Weapons to me."

Lloyd picked up the Sword and hesitated before turning to face the dark lord. Them, he did something Garmadon never would have suspected. He burst out laughing.

"What?" Garmadon demanded.

"Your make-up is smearing, Dad," Lloyd wheezed, dropping the Weapons. "You've got white streaks on your stomach and forehead."

Garmadon wrinkled his nose and small black flakes fell off. "Great."

oOoOoOo

"Listen up, everyone," Ethan called out.

All eyes turned to him, except Garmadon who was taking out his red contacts.

"These first episodes were a great success," he announced.

The set crews cheered. The ninja and Nya exchanged high-fives.

"So, to keep anticipation high while we get together a new script and make the next season, we're going to make some mini-movies. Try to come up with ideas that take place in between these episodes and when the Serpentine were unleashed," Ethan explained. "It'll be a bit before we have our material. Take the next couple of days off. That's all for today folks!"

oOoOoOo

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm really sorry this took so long but remember the technology issues I mentioned last chapter? This time it wasn't so much the technology as it was ne accidentally deleting my file for this story. So I had start this chapter (which I almost had finished) from scratch. Yikes. But it's here now, so I hope you enjoyed.

~Daye


	5. Shorts (and socks?)

EDIT AN: Sorry if this shows up as a new chapter. Just fixing some issues.

PROBLEMS OF THE BLACKSMITH

oOoOoOo

Nya walked into the shop, looking around with her hands on her hips. She strolled over to an anvil and carefully turned it to the side. A loud grinding could be heard.

She turned it further. More grinding.

She tried to keep turning it. Now it was just squealing.

Nya sighed and dusted off her hands. "Great. It's stuck."

oOoOoOo

TAKE 1

She looked around at the skeletons surrounding her. "May I remind you that this is private property and trespassing is against Ninjago Law paragraph 13, section 20?"

"It's section 2," one skeleton pointed out.

TAKE 3

"May I remind you that this is private property and trespassing is against Ninjago Law paragraph 4, section 9?"

"Paragraph 13, section 2," Ethan corrected.

"Fine, we'll go again," Nya said with exasperation.

TAKE 5

"May I remind you that this is private property and trespassing is against Ninjago Law paragraph 6, section 84?"

"Paragraph 13, section 2!" Kai yelled from off set.

"How did you remember it when this actually happened?" Cole asked.

Nya crossed her eyes.

TAKE 12

"May I remind you that this is private property and trespassing is against Ninjago Law paragraph 7, section 4?"

"13 and 2!" Kai, Jay, and Lloyd chorused.

"It's a NUMBER! Why does it matter?!" Nya yelled.

TAKE 27

"May I remind you that this is private property and trespassing is against Ninjago Law paragraph 2, section 13?"

"13, then 2," Ethan repeated.

"I'm done here," Nya announced, walking off.

oOoOoOo

Nya walked out of 4 Weapons, holding her things. She waited right outside the door. And waited. And waited. "Jay?"

The blue ninja popped up from where he was lying on the grass. "Did I miss my cue?"

Nya nodded emphatically. Jay groaned.

oOoOoOo

FAIL OF THE DRAGON NINJA

oOoOoOo

"Why must we go over this again?" Jay complained to his friends. "I'm clearly the best. I mean, look at me!"

He hopped up on the dragon statue in the middle of the courtyard and posed.

"Impressive, th-" Kai began but never finished.

Jay lost his balance and slipped off the statue, landing the fire ninja with a loud squeak.

oOoOoOo

The four ninja perched on large logs painted green, their make-shift dragons.

"Now this is what's 'highly illogical', Zane," Kai pointed out. "We're sitting on fake dragons that look nothing like dragons but will somehow be turned into exact replicas of our dragons post-production or whatever that's called."

"Quiet on the set!" Ethan instructed.

Kai rolled his eyes.

oOoOoOo

THE NEW SERVANTS OF SPINJITZU

oOoOoOo

"Nuckal, you can't bring cotton candy on the Ferris Wheel with you," Ethan explained patiently. "By the time this scene happened, you had already dropped it and you don't pick up another until you've climbed down and out."

"How do you know that?" Nuckal challenged.

Kruncha smacked him upside the head. "Because we told him, moron! Just because you don't have a brain doesn't mean you have to act like it!"

"But I want to bring it with me!" The one-eyed skeleton whined, pouting.

Ethan sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't let it distract you from your lines."

Nuckal cheered.

oOoOoOo

The two skeletons collapsed, falling out of the lightning Spinjitzu tornado.

"Oh, I'll get you for that," Kruncha warned, grabbing for the nearest weapon so he could wave it around. But he instead of grabbing the Sword of Fire, he snatched up the Shurikens.

They spewed out oceans of ice and snow, thinly encasing the training equipment, other weapons, ground, walls, cameras, camera people, Ethan, and the Skulkin. Everything was quiet for a moment, glittering in the sudden cold.

Nuckal was the first to break out, exclaiming "Ice skating!" He proceded to slide around the park, ignoring the tech crew cleaning off their equipment.

Kruncha's icy coating was much thicker than anything or anyone else's, as he had been holding the Shurikens when they went off. So he was still stuck, unable to move anything but his eyes.

Ethan shivered, brushing snow off his shoulders. "Let's warm it all up- Kai, would you mind digging out your sword? -and we can try again. This time, look before you grab, Kruncha."

oOoOoOo

TAKE 1

The lights flickered on. Nuckal and Kruncha stopped fighting and froze.

Kai walked out, yawning and stretching. He slumped over to the off switch/dragon statuette, slapping the button. The training course slowly ground down to its storage.

"Jay! The training course turned itself on again!" Kai complained. "You really need to-" He broke out laughing.

TAKE 2

The two skeletons froze as the lights suddenly blazed on the training course.

Kai fake-sleepily opened the courtyard doors and head to the dragon statuette, shutting down the training course. "Jay! The training course turned itself on again-"

TAKE 3

Kai walked into the courtyard and didn't even make it to the switch before giggling. "Sorry, sorry. I'll get it next time."

"Is messing up on multiple takes a genetic trait?" Cole called out. Nya, who was standing next to him, slapped him on the shoulder.

The earth ninja rubbed his sore side and muttered "Yeah, that and hotheadedness."

Unfortunately for him, Nya heard that too and hit his other shoulder.

oOoOoOo

AN UNDERWORLDLY RETAKE

oOoOoOo

Garmadon hit the ground with a sickening thud. As he hauled himself to his feet, he shouted to the real world "I curse you, Wu! I will back one day. And the weapons of Spinjitzu will be mine!"

A sinister voice spoke up from the shadows. "Well if it isn't Garmadon." Lloyd in his Samukai costume stepped forward. "My, my, how you've changed."

Jumping up before Lloyd could finish his line, Garmadon smiled and said "I could say the same for you."

"Touché," Lloyd-Samukai acknowledged. "How about we go discuss the Underworld's management over a nice cup of tea? I hear you've got some great ideas on building evil lairs and inside info about the latest helmet and loincloth fashions. We could definitely use that."

"Great idea, son," Garmadon approved jokingly. He slung an arm around the 'skeleton's' neck and they walked off, chattering amiably.

"Smart alecks," the director called after them.

oOoOoOo

"Sooo, how did Garmadon gain control over the Underworld?" Cole repeated impatiently.

"I know," Wu offered. "I believe they fought it out after Samukai's grudge against my brother was aired and then Garmadon won by Spinjitzu-throwing Samukai's own knives at him. So my brother put on Samukai's old helmet with a bone on it and declared himself the leader."

Cole chuckled. "If messing up on multiple takes and hotheadedness aren't family traits -don't kill me Nya- then being a smart aleck definitely is."

Wu simply smiled and sipped his tea as Ethan groaned in the background.

oOoOoOo

REDO OF THE FIRE TEMPLE

oOoOoOo

"So that's what you wanted to show us," Kai breathed. "A secret entrance to the Underworld!"

He stepped closer to get a better look, but his foot slipped like it was supposed to. He fell wildly through the air and face-planted into the ground, the Sword of Fire flying out of his grasp and clattering across the ground.

"Well, that was graceful," Nya called down. The dragons roared in agreement.

Kai pulled himself up and wiped the dirt off his face. "Yeah, and painful!"

oOoOoOo

Kruncha and Nuckal walked to where the entrance to the Underworld used to be, gaping at the rocks that blocked the way.

Kruncha smacked his friend. "You dummy! You left the stove on again, didn't you!"

"I did! I'm sorry!" Nuckal yelped.

"No, you-" Kruncha paused. "What stove?"

"The one in the break room! I was warming up a donut and didn't turn it off!"

Just then, smoke began billowing out of the aforementioned break room. Nuckal tried to make a run for it, but Kruncha stopped him in his tracks.

"You're staying right here, idiot," the helmeted skeleton grumbled.

Nuckal sighed.

oOoOoOo

BABBLE BETWEEN BROTHERS

oOoOoOo

"What good are Golden Weapons, if no one ever actually uses them?" Garmadon snarled. He waved the two he picked up but promptly dropped them.

"That wasn't even your actual line," Wu pointed out merrily.

oOoOoOo


	6. Resignation

Dear readers,

I know I'm not technically supposed to post AN notes as entire chapters. But I'm doing it anyway. Okay, I've got bad news and good news. Bad news is first.

The bad news is that I'm giving up on my stories. I'm not inspired, I'm busy, etc, etc. You've heard all the excuses. I'm sorry if you're upset, but I've made up my mind.

The good news is StoriesAreMagic or Sam is adopting/taking on both 'Crush it Cole' and 'Bloopers of the Ninja'. The stories aren't over yet!

I don't know if I'll eventually post anything else. I'll have to see.

It was fun, readers.

~Daye


End file.
